Holding hands

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“What insensitive, modern person still says men don’t care? Confession: I have, a couple times. Romantic history aside, as a professional caregiver consultant, I have noticed they do have their own style of supporting others. The book “Who Says Men Don’t Care?” is a great tool for male caregivers of all ages and stages to take control of their vital role as crucial people in the lives of their loved ones. The book covers the most relevant topics in an honest, frank way, demonstrating to men that they can retain both their masculinity and humanity while doing right by their care recipients. Topics include myths versus realities, generational differences, and acute versus chronic illnesses, among others. The writing style is direct and even humorous. ‘Martyrdom only works if you are dead.’

The book is also systematic and scientific, reflecting the current trend toward professionalizing caregiver assessment and support services. Finally, caregivers are being taken seriously by their communities, worthy of structured measure and analysis as well as emotional support. The CARES assessment featured in “Who Says Men Don’t Care”? is a logical tool to begin taking a clear-eyed view of one’s own caregiving situation and one’s own assets and risks. Caregivers often have felt forced to abandon their own familiar routines, schedules, and even living situations to meet their loved ones’ needs; in my experience, most are relieved and empowered by any clear, flexible yet well-organized tool for focused thinking, such as CARES.

I will definitely recommend this book to the male caregivers I meet at work. Men, I’m sorry again for my insensitivity. You do care, 22 million strong, so—take care of yourselves. On behalf of the professional network of caregiver service providers: welcome. We’re glad you’re our clients in growing numbers, and look forward to empowering you whenever possible—recommending this fine book, for starters.”

   Monica Gallagher, Service Director
   Hamline Midway Elders, a Living at Home/Block Nurse Program
   St. Paul, Minnesota

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“This newly published guide brings us up to date on a fact: Caregiving is becoming an equal opportunity responsibility. Ten years ago only 25 % of caregivers were men, but with sweeping demographic and social change they now account for 36 to 40% of caregivers; a proportion that will continue to rise.
The authors, James Gambone and Rhonda Travland are not only gerontologists by profession, but they have first-hand caregiver experience, have counseled, consulted, researched and more. Travland took care of her husband for 17 years after an early onset dementia derailed their life plans. Together, they are more than qualified to help caregivers develop practical strategies for surviving the stress of the caregiving situation.

This Guide is not for the weak-kneed however. It doesn’t just examine the caregiver role from a man’s perspective, it exposes it. Based on a self-assessment of what ‘type’ of caregiver you are, the caregiver role unfolds with intensity, looking at the potential for anger, guilt, depression, despair and emotional isolation. It coaches on how to take a self-preserving, balanced approach to delivering your caregiving duties, and developing the ability to recognize when you are approaching your emotional ‘tipping point’ and must have a ‘Plan B’ in place.

The main message is that you are not alone and there are many facing similar, but never the same, challenges as you. This guide helps professional caregiving literature catch up to the reality that men are front and centre in many caregiving situations. We welcome this opportunity to see male caregiver roles explored, documented and recognized.”

   Bonnie Schroeder
   Director, Caregiving
   Practice, Quality, and Risk Team
   VON Canada

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“This seminal book by Gambone and Travland addresses the overlooked field of the life and issues of male caregivers. Written in clear accessible language and laden with rich examples, the book offers practical advice on how to achieve a balanced life of caring for oneself as well as others. A step by step approach to strengthening areas that need attention while acknowledging, encouraging and celebrating those areas of successful care giving is enhanced with helpful checklists that assist with analysis of care management. While exposing and debunking myths and stereotypes about male caregivers, it gives an important examination of generational attributes that impact upon care giving. Hints and advice are given in a manner that will accommodate a broad range of experiences encountered by male caregivers, and be useful in a variety of individual situations. Overall, a timely and welcome user-friendly book that will assist in this growing phenomenon in our society.”

   James H Cook
   Researcher in Ageing
   Australian Catholic University

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"This much-needed book does a superb job of addressing men's perspectives on caregiving. The writing is clear and direct. The self-assessments and ideas are highly practical. I think this book will help men feel more in control of their caregiving experience and better able to make critical decisions. I highly recommend it."

Pat Samples, author of Daily Comforts for Caregivers and Self-Care for Caregivers: A Twelve Step Approach – both available at Amazon.com

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We invite you to review our book.